So I attended a meeting last night at City Councilwoman Stacy Head’s house on behalf of the neighborhood association. It reinforced the fact that I hate her.

Okay, to be honest, it’s more like “am deeply jealous of.”

Here’s what my afternoon was like:
1pm: Shit! I forgot I had a meeting at 5:30.
3pm: Realize I’d better change before meeting as my grass-stained jeans aren’t going to impress anyone.
4:45: Alison calls. Can you pick me up? Also, don’t you have a meeting tonight? What about dinner?
5:05: Get in shower, having realized I never got a chance to get one this morning since my schedule was thrown off this morning. (It doesn’t take much.)
5:15: Fling things around the bedroom in an effort to find “grownup” type clothes.
5:18: Give up on grownup, nonwrinkled clothes.
5:25: Leave house, hair still damp.
5:28: Back in house, find address of meeting.
5:45: Be last one to arrive.
6:33: Having forgotten to turn phone off, daughter calls. What did I end up doing about dinner? Hiss into phone that she should forage through whatever leftovers there are.
7:42: Have recovery drink at home.

Now, a breakdown of Stacy’s day:

1pm:

Okay, I give up. I have no idea, except that it involved a lot more than remembering to try to remember about the grass stains. I do not operate on the same plane as this woman.

Her house was immaculate, her kids phenomenally well behaved. She had her toddler on her lap, quietly drawing kitty-cats while we discussed matters. She got a call from her neighbor asking if she could drop her two toddlers off while she ran some errands. “Sure, no problem!” She orchestrated all four kids from the meeting, including letting them have popsicles without any ending up on furniture, in hair, etc. Her hubby called and she told him dinner was ready and waiting for him when he got home. After our meeting, she was having another meeting about the copper problem.

And she’s nice, too, dammit. Personable, funny, sharp as hell- neither shrewish nor Stepford Wife-ish in the least.

It was like watching someone of an entirely different species operate.

Possibly from another planet altogether- one that I will never, ever even be granted a visitation visa for, never mind citizenship.