Archive for the ‘Garden Stuff’ Category

Lantana is technically a weed. A pretty weed, okay, but a weed. I first saw it years ago growing in the sidewalk cracks in Mississippi, and when I brought a photo of it to our local nursery, I seriously thought the owner was going to spit on me. I was oh-so-thrilled to get be on the receiving end of a 5 minute lecture on the subject.

But it was effective, apparently, because now I’m compelled to point out that Lantana’s a weed whenever the subject comes up.

Regardless, despite the fact that it grows all on its own through street cracks where it gets mashed and stepped on every day, I cannot grow the stuff. I’ve killed off any number of sacrificial lambs.

This was last year’s:

Pink and yellow together in lots of tiny tiny blooms. This one was kind of cruel- see how nice and big that sucker looks? Looks like a winner, right? A survivor?

Yeah. Not so much. The front of the house, the back, any sun/shade combo you can think of. In pots, in the ground. All of these in my hands = dead lantana. On one side I have a neighbor who has one that just started growing on its own, and she’s shaped it into a gorgeous lollipop-looking bush. On the other side I have somebody whose boyfriend keeps running their wild lantana over with the lawnmower, and it just keeps coming back.

Seriously, this is true.

So I’ve decided that I’m not taking care of it any more. I’m not being nice to it, and I’m considering backing the car over this one a few times. Maybe then it’ll live for a while. If not, at least I know where I can get more- the local speech giving nursery? It’s caved, and I’m perfectly welcome to go buy my evil weed there.

This was actually taken a couple of months ago and I’ve just gotten around to uploading it. There aren’t many blooms at the moment- we’re in the middle of a god-awful streak of sky high temps with near-drought conditions, so I can’t blame them for not wanting to be bothered. Every time I step outside I lose any motivation I might’ve started out with, so I can completely relate.

I think it just confuses Bianca when I take photos of boring things like plants. She tends to get in the middle of it and look at me like I’m crazy.

So Black Jack is/was a Dupont variety; I note it’s not listed on their website any more, so it might have been discontinued. I’ve never been a big fan of the browns and greens in hibiscus blooms, but Charlie thought this one looked exotic.

It’s a slow grower, and even after being pinched off twice, this was the first bloom in 9 months. (though a second followed close behind.)

So we have a sad, sad confession to make.

We have an addict in the house. He simply cannot control himself. The sun starts to go down, and he starts to get the shakes. He runs to go stake out the spot where he gets his ‘junk.’ It’s started to affect the whole household. We try to physically prevent him from getting his fix, but his desperation makes him wily.

Sometimes he tries to hold back, even when his pusher tries to get him hopped (ha!) up:

But he always breaks down and has to lick the damned frog, which makes him start frothing at the mouth:

The first night it happened I freaked out, because there was a lot of foam. I mean a LOT. Like, “I think we’re rushing to the doggie hospital now” levels of foam. Instead I turned to google and quickly did a search, yelling out to the kitchen to see if he’d drink some water, which would rule out rabies (yes, of course he’s had his shots, but still) and a couple of other likely suspects.

A little more research and I determined that while he was off in the yard he must’ve picked up a hallucinogenic frog that had effects similar to LSD. Seriously. A description of someone’s ‘trip,’ having smoked some of the venom:

Objects appeared extremely distorted, colors were intensified and facial quirks were magnified, giving people a clown-like appearance. Perception of distance was extremely distorted; objects within arms reach seemed miles away. Height perceptions were also distorted, one minute I seemed like a giant compared to those around me, the next minute I seemed a dwarf in comparison. Light sources provoked an unusual reaction; they seemed surrounded by moving, prismatic colors. Walking was problematic.

The Google gods said that if he didn’t swallow it, he’d be okay, but if he did, we had big problems. After about 10 min, the froth quit flowing like river rapids, and we thought “Whew! Well, bet he won’t do that again!”

Yeah. Not so much.

He spent most of the rest day in the same spot he’d found the frog. Eventually, he figured out they’re nocturnal- now he starts his vigil about an hour before sundown- an addict is a persistent creature. He basically noses the frog around, barks at it a little, and I guess he must lick it because he does froth (you can see some on the pics above if you look at his mouth and the brick below), but not nearly so much as the first night.

We’ve tried keeping him inside, but he’s well aware of the ways of the catflaps, and he can be a focused little bugger. You can practically see him scratching his little stubby arms, shaking and whining, “but I need it, man!”

Clearly, we’re going to need to start up a Scared Straight program for toad tasters.

To no one’s great surprise, it turns out that the problem with having someone like Alfred doing your yardwork is…well, Alfred is loose in the yard with sharp implements.

Don’t get me wrong- he’s actually cleaned himself up a bit and is more focused than he’s ever been, but he’s still prone to doing what he thinks should be done instead of what you’ve told him you want done. So even a year after 07′s miserable winter, things were looking straggly. Straggly=messy to Alfred, and mess is not acceptable. CHOP went his machete, down went the struggling passion flowers, and after a brief but rather loud mourning period, I decided that a little colorful shakeup was in order anyway.

So now we have new, baby passi’s in the ground, and here’s the first bloom, from a Passiflora Nephrodes- and I got to play with my macro too, so good times all around.

The Ebb Tide (RIP) rose in better days:

Another spring, another (several) dead rose plants. I give up.

I hereby resolve to not buy any more roses, despite the fact that I love them. They’re high maintenance to begin with, and with NOLA’s humidity (the leaves don’t like the damp), high water table (roses’ deep roots tap the underground lake pretty quickly and drown), the extreme temperature swings, the aggressive insect population… Oh, god, forget it- I surrender.

Last year I said I was going Darwinian on the garden- only the strong survive. I’ll fertilize, prune, water- but no babying. If I’m going to stay true to that principle, I’ve got to let the roses thing go, no matter how much I covet covet covet them.

So. All of the in-ground ones have keeled over or are on life support, and I don’t have the heart to yank ‘em out while they’re still struggling along. The couple in pots seem okay at the moment, so we’ll see. And no more roses shall cross the thresh hold. :::sigh:::

Another casualty: Key Lime Pie.

It’s a damn cold night here in NOLA- hard freeze warnings on both the North and South shores, my heater is not cooperating, and I have too much to do tonight to rely on some real Schnapps-like beverage to create any internal warmth, so we’ll just have to Think Spring.

Or Schnapps. Whatever works for you.

…I now have to go outside now and water my plants. They’re dying, wilted and sad in the August swelter.

Only then is it time to go back to figuring out if they’ll drown in Hurricane Gustav.

It’s been a slow grower, but despite not being very big made it through the winter just fine and has started to bloom with fair regularity.

So here we are again, the roses are blooming and I’m wondering how long it’ll last. Charlie keeps reminding me that our climate is just not kind to roses, but I’m gonna keep trying a little while longer. After all, banging my head on the wall is one of my favorite activities.

Anyway, here’s a new one, Mardi Gras. I was actually shopping for a replacement for Beloved (may she rest in peace) and decided I had to give this one a chance based on the name alone.

It’s really luminous, and so far a fast grower, so we’ll see how she fares.