Archive for the ‘Inappropriate’ Category

I generally sort of roll my eyes at beads that feature breasts in their various forms. They’re often rather anime-ish- a sort of cartoon stripper taken unawares by her state.

But these. What to say about these? More than the item itself, I love the box. I give you “The Breast ball with I Love You Sound- Squeezable mimi<sic> ball:”

It’s a stress ball, basically. But the person who needs this added little tip is definately under far too much stress: Read the rest of this entry »

I’ll be honest with you- I have cop issues. Other than my Catholic upbringing, there’s no reason for me to look at that uniform and expect him to randomly drag me off to jail. Maybe it’s some sort of Priest-transference thing, I don’t know.

So maybe I’m the wrong person to ask about these, but- ug. Closeups after the jump.

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First off, he’s clearly gay.

Second, even HE is rolling his eyes and grimacing at the spectacle.

Is it me or does this look a lot like Anne Rice of a few years ago? She’s not exactly jovial- she looks like she might just pick up a whip and go to town on you… which is perfectly appropriate, given who it looks like…

But I vow to do better- I have to, if I’m gonna get them all in before Mardi Gras day.

To do that, I’m going to combine a couple of similar beads- into themes, if you will.

So today’s theme is…uh…amorous pigs. The funny thing is that these are from two different places, though the piggies seem awfully similar. By far my favorite part is the folded down ear of the ‘bottom.’ Read the rest of this entry »

When I saw this one, I knew it had to go in the Collection. It’s so bizarre…

The breasts look like pimples that need popping or something. Turned upside down it almost makes more sense- they look like excited eyes, maybe.

Click to see the offense- marginally NSFW
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This one’s the first really inappropriate on a physical level.

So here’s the banner on the bead…offensive only for its outdated stupidity (Austin Powers from like a decade ago? C’mon…):

For the rest, continue on (NSFW):
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What is there to say about this one? It’s got it all. Elegant stickers stuck on plastic with uplifting messages. Interesting choice of states, though…New York I get. Aggression, etc. Florida…well, if you were driving around in God’s waiting room I imagine you’d get frustrated too. I’d like to think the Texas one is a political statement about our eminent statesman from there.

But California? See, this is what bothers me. Ya gotta put a little effort into these things, people…

This is a question I got from a customer a few weeks ago… and a few weeks before that, and before that ad nauseum.

We made a conscious choice way back when to be ‘tit and toke free’- no nakedy type beads, no drug beads.

Not ’cause we’re prudish, ya’ll understand, but because:

• a) I hate the sterotype that you’ve gotta whip off yer shirt down here and
• b) I’m not interested in policing the ages on the site, especially since so much of our stuff is kidbait.

Plus, we sell lots of bead packs of random stuff, and I’d hate to have some 6 year old open the box and say, “Mommy, what’s this??”

But people do ask, and when we’re sourcing, we often find the most wretched things. We’ve started a little collection of these things and decided to share ‘em. So here’s the first in a series we’re calling Inappropriate products. We’re starting off going easy on you- I suppose you could almost say these are marginal, but…classy, classy, classy.

From this morning’s T-P from a story entitled “Sisters Arrested for Prostitution”:

But over the past few years, flesh peddlers have begun marketing themselves in the service listings. And law enforcement agencies across the country are starting to pay attention. In New Jersey, Illinois, Washington and Florida, police have conducted stings netting advertising prostitutes as well as customers seeking to purchase a little pleasure.

The Jefferson Sheriff’s Office vice squad has made a handful of such arrests via Craigslist.org and other web sites, said the unit’s commander, Capt. Tom Angelica. Investigators would make more, he said, but they’ve been busy helping the rest of the department tackle violent crime. That leaves little opportunity to address online prostitution, where Hare said the market is ripe.

“It’s like shooting fish in a barrel,” Hare said.

Forgive the pun, but it’s all a little breathy, no? Anyone feel like purchasing a little pleasure from flesh peddlers in a ripe market?

If so, you’d better be careful because our amusingly named Detective Hare is out there to stop you from making like the bunnies of his namesake.

And speaking of fish in a barrel, haven’t we got bigger ones to fry?