Posts Tagged ‘addict’

So we have a sad, sad confession to make.

We have an addict in the house. He simply cannot control himself. The sun starts to go down, and he starts to get the shakes. He runs to go stake out the spot where he gets his ‘junk.’ It’s started to affect the whole household. We try to physically prevent him from getting his fix, but his desperation makes him wily.

Sometimes he tries to hold back, even when his pusher tries to get him hopped (ha!) up:

But he always breaks down and has to lick the damned frog, which makes him start frothing at the mouth:

The first night it happened I freaked out, because there was a lot of foam. I mean a LOT. Like, “I think we’re rushing to the doggie hospital now” levels of foam. Instead I turned to google and quickly did a search, yelling out to the kitchen to see if he’d drink some water, which would rule out rabies (yes, of course he’s had his shots, but still) and a couple of other likely suspects.

A little more research and I determined that while he was off in the yard he must’ve picked up a hallucinogenic frog that had effects similar to LSD. Seriously. A description of someone’s ‘trip,’ having smoked some of the venom:

Objects appeared extremely distorted, colors were intensified and facial quirks were magnified, giving people a clown-like appearance. Perception of distance was extremely distorted; objects within arms reach seemed miles away. Height perceptions were also distorted, one minute I seemed like a giant compared to those around me, the next minute I seemed a dwarf in comparison. Light sources provoked an unusual reaction; they seemed surrounded by moving, prismatic colors. Walking was problematic.

The Google gods said that if he didn’t swallow it, he’d be okay, but if he did, we had big problems. After about 10 min, the froth quit flowing like river rapids, and we thought “Whew! Well, bet he won’t do that again!”

Yeah. Not so much.

He spent most of the rest day in the same spot he’d found the frog. Eventually, he figured out they’re nocturnal- now he starts his vigil about an hour before sundown- an addict is a persistent creature. He basically noses the frog around, barks at it a little, and I guess he must lick it because he does froth (you can see some on the pics above if you look at his mouth and the brick below), but not nearly so much as the first night.

We’ve tried keeping him inside, but he’s well aware of the ways of the catflaps, and he can be a focused little bugger. You can practically see him scratching his little stubby arms, shaking and whining, “but I need it, man!”

Clearly, we’re going to need to start up a Scared Straight program for toad tasters.